If you had told me a year ago that I would spend real, hard-earned wonga on having someone predict my future, I would have laughed so hard, my tea would’ve spurted back out through my nostrils!
It was something I considered beyond ridiculous. As far as I was concerned, all psychics, seers and anyone who claimed to have the ability to read people’s lives, were fraudulent. Con artists preying on susceptible people, mostly old ladies, who clearly didn’t have any common sense.
They knew tricks of how to get the information out of you but that was easy because it was just generic stuff; age, job, family. I could do that with a bit of training!
I didn’t seriously think that anyone could see into the future either; I mean, they could make up any old shit, couldn’t they?
“You are going to find love,” well yes, now you’ve told them that, they are more likely to start seriously looking for it and that optimism will naturally lead them towards finding a partner.
Basically, I had a smart answer for everything on this subject.
But 6 months ago, a year into my spiritual awakening, I was starting to soften. I’d opened up my mind to the possibility that there might, just might be things going on in this world that we don’t fully understand.
That science can’t explain.
Things that a minority believe in, that are shunned by the majority of society.
When you discover that “society” actually has its head in the sand over pretty much everything and most people are just on rails, following the crowd like sheep, you start to question EVERYTHING. And that means looking at the alternative viewpoints. Because it turns out, they just might be the sane ones!
So I booked to see a psychic.
The main reason I chose to do this was not just curiosity. I was at a point where I was starting to worry about my work life.
I’d been trying to manifest money into my life, working much harder on my trading, which was improving but I still had a nagging doubt over whether I should continue or ditch it and move to something else. All I really wanted was reassurance; was I going to be successful in life?
Were the things I was trying to visualise as part of the law of attraction, going to come to fruition?
And WHEN goddamnit, WHEN? I was sick of waiting!
Where were my new friends, my BMW Z4, my beautiful London apartment?!
If I could just find that out, it would settle me down, stave off the panic.
So I rolled up to the psychic’s little terraced house one cold December evening, full of excitement but also trepidation.
What if I heard I wasn’t going to be successful?
What if the trading wasn’t going to work out?
I honestly felt like I’d be sick if that happened. It was the one thing I’d concentrated on and slaved over for years, right through my post-traumatic anxiety. So as I waited in her tiny kitchen for the session before mine to finish, I was fearful.
This could be the best hour of my life, sending me back into the dark night with new vigour and purpose. Or the worst. Leaving me confused and aimless. Defeated and full of the old anxiety I thought I’d banished forever.
She wasn’t really like how I guessed a psychic to be.
She looked the part; small and almost gypsy-ish. Her surname was Polish and I think she actually descended from gypsies. But her broad local accent was a complete disparity!
The house was so modest and working class too. And she clearly wasn’t a highly educated person. She seemed very down to earth and non-materialistic.
I liked her.
She was kinda like a cheery but straight-talking Aunt.
I was hoping to slip gently into the session but she started almost immediately as I sat down. I wanted to tell her beforehand that I didn’t want to contact the dead and was only interested in hearing about my career and future success in that area.
I didn’t want to know about relationships or health or anything major like that, good or bad. I didn’t want it to affect me and my decisions in future. And I prefer to just leave that a mystery. Before I could get the words out, she was already contacting the spirit world!
It freaked the fuck out of me!
I butted in and told her I didn’t want to contact anyone but she claimed that this was the way she worked. Rather than use tarot cards or other equipment (like some charlatans, she claimed), she went direct to the source.
She was able to tap into the universe, consciousness, whatever you want to call it and get direct access to my life story. This meant she was in effect, listening to spirits who knew about me, who would relay to her my life path up to now.
If I could have left at that point, I probably would have.
I found it quite upsetting because she got in touch with my best friend who died a decade ago. He committed suicide and I believe he was suffering from depression, although I didn’t know that at the time.
She relayed a message from him, saying he was OK and in a better place now.
This really threw me.
I didn’t know what to think or say or how to react.
Was it really him?
She didn’t mention a name but she knew he was young and attractive and tall and of course, the fact that he was no longer alive. It was a lot to take in.
She then said that my Grandfather was “volunteering to come forward” to talk about me!
Now I was getting worried. This wasn’t going how I’d expected. I really liked my Grandfather. Sadly, we never spent much time together as I became a teenager and older. It’s a regret that I have now but at the time, I was so riddled with anxiety, I wasn’t just hiding from him, I was hiding from EVERYONE.
But he was really lovely, a very kind, gentle man.
The psychic relayed a few things he was telling her about me. The one which really stood out as being something she couldn’t possibly have known, was that I went to Thailand and had been on a round the world trip.
At this point, it was starting to seem pretty certain that she had psychic abilities, which was the aim of this spirit contacting; so she could prove herself. But after 15 minutes or so, she got out a pack of “Angel” cards and started reading them as I picked out a few at a time. This was where I was about to learn my future………..
More next time in part 2!
Yow! Tim, that would be far too scary for me, contacting the dead!! Really enjoying your blog though, so honest and up front. Keep it up!!
Hi Mischa, thanks so much for taking the time to reply. Such kind words. Yes I was freaked out but isn’t it kinda comforting to know that perhaps something else exists beyond death? That everyone you care about is still alive and well somehow?
I didn’t feel that way at the time but if you decide to go for a session, I would take that attitude with you.
Love your blog Timothy, very rare to find writing of such honesty 🙂
Thank you so much for the heartfelt words Jacinta. I hope I can manage to keep you reading, will be trying my best 🙂