Improving yourself, developing your life into something better
A few years ago, before I began my process of awakening (you know, from that zombie-esque sleepwalking!) questioning everything in life, and self-development, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, would have been the type of book I would have run a mile from!
On the outside, it appears to be your classic, namby-pamby, head in the clouds, self-help, woo-woo drivel for pretentious creative types. Written by the author of Eat, Pray, Love (your classic namby-pamby, head in the clouds, white middle-class American woman on a foreign journey of self discovery drivel!), you can see how one might think that!
But once again on this increasingly incredible twist to my life over the past 2 years, I find myself thinking and feeling the exact opposite of what the old me would have thought or felt.
If you’d told me 18 months ago that I would meditate every single day, without fail and actually ENJOY it, I would have had you sectioned – for you surely would have been insane! I simply could not keep my mind quiet for more than 10 seconds – and that was a struggle! And on the odd moments where I did manage to relax, I would fall asleep!
There was literally nothing I liked about this practice. My legs ached for days after sitting in the lotus position. I never managed to shut out all thoughts – my mind would always race away to whatever worries I had going on that day. It was a wholly frustrating experience and I just didn’t understand what all the fuss was about.
I’ve been celibate for almost 2 years. Now I know what you’re thinking;
“You aren’t actually celibate Tim, you just haven’t pulled in ages!”
Well, I’ll admit, it wasn’t a choice at first! I had been single for much longer than 2 years but for a long time, my focus had been on getting a girlfriend way too much.
It got to the point, around the time of my awakening, that I started to think I should actually stop even trying to meet someone. After all, it had only caused me stress and frustration for most of my life. I realised that if I could put all the energy I spent trying to meet women into something more productive, I would improve my life much quicker.
Part of the problem was that I had spent most of my life trying to get women to like me. Trying to get a girlfriend. And failing miserably! I’ve only had one serious relationship and even that didn’t last long. Anxiety was a key factor in that but I can’t put the blame entirely there.
There came a point where I did actually say to myself;
“Tim, you are going to remain single for the forseeable future. You are not going to date. You are not spending any more time on dating sites. You do not need or indeed, want, a girlfriend in your life right now.”
The more I go down this journey of awakening, questioning our world, our reality, the more I realise how messed up it is. We, especially in Western society, have got so much completely backwards. Healthcare is the best example of this.
I’m the kind of man who likes to keep things simple. Us humans always try to over-complicate things. We have a natural tendency to look too deeply for answers, because we think that if the solution sounds too simple, it can’t work – it can’t be true. What I’ve learnt in recent times, is that our health boils down to 2 basic things:
What we put into our body
What we put into our mind
Feed your mind with negative thoughts or your mouth with unnatural products, and you become ill.
It’s that simple.
It’s been a difficult yet fantastical year for me. Things have happened that have left my jaw wedged to the floor. My faith in the universe and that there is a higher power has increased to levels which I now consider solid and unbreakable. But my outer world……..still the same! I’m still living in a town and a house that I don’t want to be in. I’m still lonely and I’m still not doing the kind of work that will truly satisfy me. Oh yeah, and I have no money!
But 2017 saw a few budding shoots. They have enabled me to see a pathway clearly, towards what I deem will be an incredible future. And I believe 2018 will be the first of many amazing years in my life; years that I have waited my whole time on this planet to experience. Full of joy, love, adventure, abundance and peace.
What makes me so confident 2018 will be the first year where my dreams start to come true? Well, there are three reasons:
If you had told me at the beginning of 2017 that I would become friends with two people in the public eye who I admire immensely, that I would be offered a chance to live and work on a tropical island, that I would have my own blog with hundreds of subscribers, and that I would be involved in an opportunity that could set me up financially for life, I would have asked what drugs you were taking! Little did I realise the surprises that awaited me in 2017!
Over the past year and a half, I’ve dedicated my entire life to learning about becoming a better person and creating a better life. Perhaps the biggest aspect of this was getting the law of attraction working in my favour. I’m at a place where I am now starting to attract people, opportunities and incredible “coincidences” on a pretty regular basis. But the one area where I’ve still yet to attract any real abundance, is financially.
I realise that this has much to do with the fact that my biggest mental blocks and limiting beliefs remain money-related – almost entirely in fact! I honestly don’t think I have ANY serious limiting beliefs remaining about anything else. But I know money is still an issue. It still plagues me, the worry and anxiety about not having enough money to do what I want in life.
I’ve mentioned many times on the blog that spoken affirmations are one of the keys to getting me through some tough times and building good new mental habits. They are now part of my daily routine and something I never forget to do.
At first, affirmations can seem pointless. I totally get why people give up on them after a short time! When I first began doing them last year, it at times felt ridiculous. I’d be telling myself that I’m “Wealthy and abundant,” yet my soul is screaming “You’re fucking broke AND in debt, are you insane, don’t be so stupid!!”
If I was to give one book to all the people in the world who want to make big changes in their life, this would be it. Not because it’s the best self-development book I’ve read. “Think and Grow Rich” remains the granddaddy for me (in fact, it is even mentioned in THIS book!). Not because it’s had the biggest impact on my life; “The Power of Now” and “Conversations With God” both switched on lightbulbs within me that this one never did. The reason I would choose it is because out of all those books, this is the easiest to digest.