Having come back to social media after a hiatus, I’m stunned, shocked and saddened by what I’m hearing. Those who are suffering with anxiety seem to think that it’s something that they have FOR LIFE. Something that can never be eradicated. Worse still, they have accepted this belief so deeply, that they are doing nothing to get rid of it. Cope with it, yes. Kick it out, stamp on it and light it on fire? NO.
When I planned this blog, my intention was not to write about anxiety in detail. I wanted the blog to be about my life after anxiety; how I rebuild it. Plus the information I’ve learned over the past year through my awakening, that anyone can apply to create the life of their dreams. That’s why I created my free ebook “How I Crushed Anxiety TWICE!!”. It was a way for me to give you some valuable information on how potentially easy it is to overcome anxiety and crush it FOREVER.
But I’ve decided, as someone who has overcome anxiety, that I need to blog about this a lot more than I expected! Clearly, too many people with anxiety are not aware of what they can be doing to get rid of it for good.
QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF
Whether you have anxiety or are at a low point in your life, stuck in a rut or comfort zone, there are only two questions you need to ask yourself:
1. Am I happy?
and if the answer is no;
2. What am I going to do about it?
Because ultimately, this down to YOU to sort out. No-one else can do it for you. I would then add in a 3rd question;
3. Who am I listening to?
Because many surround themselves with people who are not giving them the advice they need to recover. They might be well meaning but they don’t REALLY know how to crush anxiety. They don’t know because they’ve never had it. And yes, I am including most doctors in that. What doctors are very good at is giving you stuff to suppress anxiety. What many are not so good at, is helping you GET RID of it.
Now you might think that the best person to listen to is someone else with anxiety. That’s fine for several things;
1. Empathy. It’ll make you feel much better not to feel alone in this battle.
2. Support. They understand what you’re going through, so can give you tips on what works for them to ease the pain.
But here’s what they are not good for;
CRUSHING ANXIETY FROM YOUR LIFE FOREVER.
Why? Because they have never done it themselves! Think of it this way. If you want advice on how to set up a successful business, who would you rather listen to;
A) Someone who has a business degree but doesn’t run a business?
B) Someone who runs a million pound business but has no business degree?
Seems a no-brainer on paper. But I guarantee you that way more people will take advice from A. Why? Because they are easier to access. There’s a ton of people with degrees. You likely know one of them. But here’s the thing; there are these things called BOOKS. All the advice and mentorship you need can be found in books, written by people who have DONE something.
Talk is cheap. It must be backed up with ACTION. It’s no different with overcoming anxiety. Your best chance of doing that is not to read about people with anxiety who are just COPING with it. Think about who you are spending your time with. You need to listen to people who no longer have anxiety. Who have CRUSHED it.
Now, I hope that person is gonna be me, obviously! But I’m here to HELP. So maybe, hear me out?
4 STAGES OF ANXIETY RECOVERY
There are 4 stages that I believe anxiety sufferers need to go through:
1. Acknowledge and accept that they have anxiety
2. Own and embrace their anxiety.
Both of these are important. You have to accept you have a problem/issue/illness/disorder in order to stop fighting it with denial or desperation. Once you do that, it means you can go and get help. You’ll then move onto step 2, which is where you calm down a bit and start finding coping mechanisms. The battle should become a bit easier. The problem is that too many people remain here and never move onto the next step. They stop fighting altogether and reinforce negative beliefs such as:
“I have this for life”
“It’s who I am”
Some even become PROUD of their anxiety. Whilst this sounds good on paper, that they are accepting their condition rather than becoming destroyed by it, it means that they basically have given up all hope that it will go away and so will never take steps to:
3. Get rid of it.
This then leads to a life full of regret, mediocrity, not realising their full potential, or rotting in a comfort zone. All the time, still having to “deal” with the anxiety. And who knows what that will be doing to their health internally. A lifetime of panic and anxiety cannot be good for anyone. But if you don’t believe you can overcome anxiety, where is the motivation to actually do something about it? For those who do decide to eradicate anxiety, those who take the necessary steps and stick with them, there’s a 4th and final stage:
4. Create an incredible, SEXY life!
Because here’s the amazing thing; when you become free from the oppressive chains of anxiety, you will have so much confidence and self belief that there is no fucking way you will settle for mediocrity! You might think right now that you’ll just be happy to be able to be in public without sweating but trust me, you will want to do so much more with your life. You may have years and years to make up for. There’s no way in hell that you’ll want to spend them binge-watching TV shows or doing something you don’t love for 8 hours a day just to pay the bills. And that is what this blog is really about. Yes, I want to help you with step 1 and 2. But my aim is to get you to step 3 and then hopefully show you that you can get to step 4 – and quicker than you might think!
I hope you’ll join me 🙂 It’s taken me a while to realise what my purpose is. But now, it has really dawned on me. And it’s not just about anxiety. Those same 4 steps can be applied to almost any situation where you want to make drastic changes in life:
1. Accept and acknowledge the situation you are in. Stop getting so frustrated or denying it.
2. Own it. Embrace it. Use it as fuel to ignite motivation. Cope with it as best you can for now.
3. Take action to CHANGE. Get rid of the bad situation. Get help from people who have been there and done it.
4. Shoot for the stars! Don’t accept second best. Put in the work and magic will happen.
You think that’s too simple? Well I’ve got news for you mi amigo:
Life is as simple as you make it.
Please leave a comment. It might be my name on the blog but it’s all about YOU. I want your opinions, your voice to be heard. If you like what you read, give the post a retweet or a Google plus one. And if you are a blogger, why not send me some wordpress love by hitting the like button? Go on, don’t be shy!
If you’ve emailed me, please bear with me. I promise to respond to EVERYONE but I do this as well as full time work, so my time is limited and I’ve been overwhelmed by the amount of interest. Thank you so much to all of you who have got in touch, encouraged me and asked for help. I will do the best I can – just be patient 🙂
You may have noticed I have my first ever video up on the blog. Check it out here.
And I have a guest post over on the blog “Not just Depressed – A Guide to Calmer Living”.