As I mentioned in part 2, following my recovery from social anxiety, everything seemed to be going right for me. I could do no wrong in almost every area of my life; relationships, money, health, career, socially, adventure. Even when something out of my control lead a to a negative, every single time, it lead directly onto something positive and often beyond my wildest expectations! At the pinnacle of this high-life, I was backpacking through Asia and The Pacific by myself – something the anxious me would never have dared to do.
Little Timmy Phoenix was at the Taj Mahal! Walking across the Golden Gate Bridge! Riding camels and elephants! Climbing glaciers and Mount Doom from The Lord of the Rings! Sitting on a totally secluded beach on a Pacific Island on Christmas Day! This was never in the plan!
So how on Earth, when everything was going so perfectly, did I end up having my left eye socket shattered, battered down a flight of stairs, head sliced open at the rear and running for my life following an unprovoked attack from a deranged man I had never even met before? What did I do to deserve that? What was “the universe’s” plan for me with that little diversion? Here’s where I get really uncertain about the LOA.
Did I attract the assault into my life somehow?
I admit that the final leg of my journey didn’t end well. I made an unexpected detour to Ibiza, where I spent a highly eventful but disappointing few months taking a lot of drugs and partying. I ended up feeling as though I’d wasted the end of my travels. I should’ve gone to Vietnam but instead, feeling a bit tired and weary of Asia, flew to the party capital of the world. It was a huge mistake in retrospect. But surely the assault was not connected?
Was that meant to happen? If so, why? Because it fucked me up mentally for the next few years. Brought my anxiety back even worse than before hypnotherapy. Or was it just one of those things? An external factor out of my control and therefore, it was how I reacted to it that caused my anxiety? I go more with the latter. Because I know for sure that if I had got help sooner, I would have battled back quicker. Instead, I became negative and tried to block it all out.
I think the idea of fate and whether something was meant to happen, should be kept separate from the LOA. If it is a law, then it can’t have any motivation to push you towards a specific event. A law can’t think, it just IS. Fate would come more under the realm of a god, higher self or other beings. Which is a whole different conversation! So it was either a random, external event OR something negative which was drawn towards me because of my own negative thinking.
Did the drug taking and drama I experienced in Ibiza, change my frequency and send me spiralling towards this assault?
But the assault wasn’t even in Ibiza! Still, that is what a staunch LOA follower would say. I’m not convinced.
Let’s say it was totally random and I didn’t attract that one incident. The negativity I showed after my assault undoubtedly could have been avoided stretching on for as long as it did. I believe that’s why it took so long for me to recover and the reason I did recover is that I made the choice to become more positive and do something about it. So again, that’s the LOA in action. Which makes more sense to me. Some ardent LOA supporters will tell you that EVERYTHING in your life is drawn to you purely because of your vibrational frequency. So if you were assaulted; YOU attracted it. If you have cancer; YOU attracted it.
Now, I do get this viewpoint. If you have low self-esteem and live life with fear or find yourself around people who are also negative, then you are more likely to be a victim. Nasty people pick on the weak, the easiest prey. If you spend your life stressed out, unhealthy and miserable, that is bound to manifest in some sort of illness. Why not cancer? However, it doesn’t explain how a child can end up with it. Or a child can be abused. Which brings me back to my initial belief;
Some external factors are random and we can’t do anything about them. But there are ways of REDUCING the chance of exposure to negative external factors. And that all comes from living a positive lifestyle.
So that brings me to today. Still uncertain. But there is evidence in my life to suggest that some hidden force seems to work and bring you more negativity or positivity, depending on what you embrace. Put simply, when I had social anxiety and then post traumatic anxiety, I seemed to attract nothing but more misery into my life. But after hypnotherapy and also when I made the decision to get out of the funk I was in following the assault and the medication I was on, the positivity I showed seemed to produce more and more, snowballing into greater and greater and greater things.
But that was all unconscious. Now that I understand this universal law, I have a chance to consciously work with it and determine once and for all, if it’s possible to create whatever you want in life. That’s what this next phase of my life is all about. I hope you’ll join me to see how it goes. And I can tell you that lately, there is some pretty amazing stuff beginning to unfold……………
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