As I mentioned in part 2, following my recovery from social anxiety, everything seemed to be going right for me. I could do no wrong in almost every area of my life; relationships, money, health, career, socially, adventure. Even when something out of my control lead a to a negative, every single time, it lead directly onto something positive and often beyond my wildest expectations! At the pinnacle of this high-life, I was backpacking through Asia and The Pacific by myself – something the anxious me would never have dared to do.
Little Timmy Phoenix was at the Taj Mahal! Walking across the Golden Gate Bridge! Riding camels and elephants! Climbing glaciers and Mount Doom from The Lord of the Rings! Sitting on a totally secluded beach on a Pacific Island on Christmas Day! This was never in the plan!
As I established in my previous post, I’m not 100% convinced in the law of attraction. Quantum physics is very real and appears to back it up scientifically. The research I’d done every day throughout 2016, studying people who were sharing their knowledge of the LOA and how it had turned their lives around, also proved a compelling argument. But one crucial thing was missing; I hadn’t experienced anything decisive personally. Despite attempting to live that mantra over the past year, being positive, grateful and living life from my heart, taking action towards gaining a life I truly desire, I haven’t made great strides. Nothing major I’m trying to manifest has appeared. However, when I look back over my past and deconstruct how my life has panned out, it does seem to back up the whole LOA theory.
Today I’m taking a probably-not-that-well-earned break and letting the wonderful Kelly, otherwise known as Anxious Lass (from the lifestyle blog centred around mental health, of the same name), to do the work for me! She’s written a great piece about her own struggles with anxiety and how she overcame them to become not-so-anxious lass. Once again, we see the same common themes amongst everyone who overcomes an anxiety disorder:
Get help and make the choice to eradicate it
Get off medication
Put in the work to get rid of it
Right, that’s enough from me. Take it away Kelly!
The Journey Of Overcoming A Social Anxiety Disorder
It might well seem as though I have my shit together. That I’m always relentlessly bouncy and uplifted with the positive mantra I try to express. I certainly believe that the only way to live a happy life with true inner peace, is to live with gratitude and always with the glass half full. But as my post “Why Loneliness is my Biggest Motivation” shows, it’s not always the case.
I actually never intended to write that post. But sometimes, you have to go with your heart. Writing for me, is as much a cathartic process as it is to inform or to create. I want to help others; those with anxiety in particular but also anyone who is at rock-bottom or in a rut. But I now realise that I have a lot of stuff I need to get off my chest. Things that I’ve never opened up to anyone else about. Being lonely is one of them. It wasn’t easy for me to write that post because, more than anything, it’s embarrassing to admit you have no close friends. I think part of me also, if I’m honest, felt a little anger and jealousy.
After crushing anxiety but now having to deal with the mess it had inflicted upon my life, I came across Napoleon Hill’s legendary “Think and Grow Rich” and BANG!! Game changer. I’ll talk more about this book (which can be downloaded legally for free) in another post. For now, let’s just say my awakening had truly begun when Mr. Hill made me realise that my life, my destiny, my future was entirely in MY OWN HANDS. No excuses. No blame to place on anyone else. Not the bat-shit crazy man who assaulted me. Not the anxiety which sent my mind and body into shock-waves. Not my age, race, lack of money. Nothing. That gave me an immense feeling of power that I’d never experienced before. The idea that anyone can achieve almost anything if they simply think in the correct manner, remains the best piece of advice I have ever read. Understanding what thoughts are and the power they have, was crucial; who’d have thought it!! (see what I did there?).
What comes to mind when you hear the term “spiritual awakening”? Up till a year ago, I would’ve been one of those people who sneered at it. Only new-age weirdos, filthy hippies, American religious nuts and con-artist “psychics” would be into all that crap, right? But after 12 months that have completely turned almost everything I understood about life upside-down, I can now say that I too, have experienced an awakening! And I found out that millions of people worldwide are going through the same thing in rapidly increasing numbers. But it wasn’t anything like I’d thought it would be.
My own awakening involved me opening my eyes and “waking up” to a wider source of knowledge and information. Things I’d either never bothered to research, had not been easily available or I’d just been ignorant about. So although there are elements of spirituality about my awakening (in terms of my beliefs about life, death and “god”), that’s only a small part of the awakening. But what I have learned has honestly blown my mind! It’s not an exaggeration to say that it’s changed my life forever.
Following my assault a few years ago, I lost everything I had built up after recovering from social anxiety. Now, after fighting back from the abyss a second time, I am ready to rebuild again. But first of all, I had to ask myself an important question. One which most people surprisingly don’t know the answer to;
“What do I want from life?”
Think about it. I am willing to bet that most of you will struggle to answer that. It’s such a huge question though and if you can answer it, you’ll be well on your way to actually creating that life. If you can’t answer it, then how can you possibly create a life you truly desire? This is my answer:
I had a job I loved, was building a nice circle of friends, had moved to a much better city where I felt at home and had a beautiful girlfriend. Things fell into place so quickly, it was frightening! Mostly because I didn’t really plan anything.
Dating with social anxiety – what a massive head-fuck!
Nothing is guaranteed to ramp up those cortisol levels more than putting yourself in a position where you will be automatically judged based on every single criteria that it’s possible to be examined by.
Looking back, I don’t know how I ever managed to pull when I had anxiety! Beer and MDMA may have something to do with it. It certainly wasn’t my cool, calm demeanour and alpha male, take-no-shit ruggedness!
One of the biggest stigmas around mental illness is that it makes a person weak or that only weak people suffer from it. This is particularly the case for men. I know this because I’ve experienced it from men and women in different ways.
Men of course, sometimes view you as “soft”. I believe the current terminology would be “delicate snowflake” or “cuck”. But I do think this view does exist even amongst normal, decent members of society, not right-wing knuckle-heads with nothing better to do than hang around social media picking fights.
Having come back to social media after a hiatus, I’m stunned, shocked and saddened by what I’m hearing.
Those who are suffering with anxiety seem to think that it’s something that they have FOR LIFE. Something that can never be eradicated.
Worse still, they have accepted this belief so deeply, that they are doing nothing to get rid of it. Cope with it, yes. Kick it out, stamp on it and light it on fire?
When I planned this blog, my intention was not to write about anxiety in detail. I wanted the blog to be about my life after anxiety; how I rebuild it. Plus the information I’ve learned over the past year through my awakening, that anyone can apply to create the life of their dreams. That’s why I created my free ebook “How I Crushed Anxiety TWICE!!”. It was a way for me to give you some valuable information on how potentially easy it is to overcome anxiety and crush it FOREVER.
But I’ve decided, as someone who has overcome anxiety, that I need to blog about this a lot more than I expected! Clearly, too many people with anxiety are not aware of what they can be doing to get rid of it for good.