Yoga Retreat Thailand: My Anxiety Returns! (Part 2)

View from Vikasa Life Cafe of Vikasa Yoga Retreat, Koh Samui, Thailand

 

In part 1, I told the story of the beginning of my new life (created using the law of attraction) in Thailand. I now live a digital nomad lifestyle where I intend to travel and only do work that I love, after many years of struggle and pain both with and recovering from, anxiety.

My first week, I took part in a yoga retreat in Thailand, hosted and run by Brett Moran, who has been a huge inspiration to me during my spiritual awakening of the past 2 years, with his YouTube vlogs. But this retreat brought up some new issues. Many people on the retreat, if not everyone, found emotions creeping to the fore and tears were shed on several occasions, but I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect I’d be one of those people!

I was only on the retreat because I’m working with Brett as part of his team. Twinned with the fact I honestly thought I was mentally in a great place for the first time any many, many years (the best place I’d ever been, actually!), meant I really didn’t think I had any issues still lurking.

Over the past 2 years, I have done so much self-development work, almost every day, working through complex limiting beliefs and all the other shit which comes with an anxiety disorder and a lack of confidence, that the last thing I thought I needed help with was my self-esteem!

Yet there I was, sat up in bed on my fourth night in a row with barely an hour of sleep, at 2am, sobbing gratuitously. And it wasn’t just the lack of shuteye. I had no problem getting to sleep, as I was out like a light every single evening, after tough yoga sessions and intense heat. But I would wake up after an hour every time, because my mind was racing. Read more

Depression and Anxiety Are NOT Chemical Imbalances (Joe Rogan Interview with Johann Hari)

I’m a huge fan of the Joe Rogan Experience podcast and this is the most interesting one to date, in my opinion. He chats with Johann Hari about his new book Lost Connections, which is basically about the modern day epidemic of anxiety and depression.

Obviously, with me spending the majority of my life under the scourge of both depression and anxiety, I was transfixed by these 2 hours! (Read about how I beat anxiety here.)

Hari’s research basically agrees with what I’ve written on this blog previously that neither anxiety or depression is down to a chemical imbalance.

Mental health problems are primarily caused by LIFE – not by biology. A fascinating stat in this podcast was that 87% of people don’t like their work – the thing they spend most time doing.

To me, the correlation is obvious: we are unhappy with life and THIS causes mental health  problems.

Unfortunately, our Western society has (yet again!) got everything arse-about-face! This is a SOCIETAL problem. Not biological. Not individual.

We are not a machine with broken parts, we are a human with unmet needs. Psychological needs, such as a purpose in life and love.

We don’t have to have a culture that deadens people, controls or isolates them, which is what we currently have. It’s about reconnection. That is what will fix these epidemics.

This is one of the best podcasts I’ve ever heard and Rogan and Hari touch on issues wider than just depression and anxiety – it’s about LIFE and how most of the Western world has been doing the wrong things for decades and it’s why we now see epidemics of unhappiness, manifesting as depression, anxiety, suicide, addiction and separation.

The great thing about Hari’s research though, is that there are small cases that point to successful answers, most of which involve connection, love and compassion, rather than what is too often the case – blame, isolation and deadening with drugs.

I haven’t read the book yet but it has great ratings on Amazon. This podcast is a must-watch though.

Is the World REALLY a bad place?

Miniature Globe

As yet another mass shooting hits the headlines (and yet again, in America) it is understandable that many people believe this world is a cruel, nasty, unfair place.

Whilst I agree that it has cruelty, nastiness and unfairness in bucket-loads and is messed up to an insane degree……….the world is NOT a bad place.

There, I said it!

If you are reading this and disagree, then let me assure you that;

A) You are so wrong!

B) I have seen the world from your viewpoint too!

Read more

Interview with Doctor with 93% Cancer Cure Record!

The more I go down this journey of awakening, questioning our world, our reality, the more I realise how messed up it is. We, especially in Western society, have got so much completely backwards. Healthcare is the best example of this.

I’m the kind of man who likes to keep things simple. Us humans always try to over-complicate things. We have a natural tendency to look too deeply for answers, because we think that if the solution sounds too simple, it can’t work – it can’t be true. What I’ve learnt in recent times, is that our health boils down to 2 basic things:

What we put into our body

What we put into our mind

That’s it.

Feed your mind with negative thoughts or your mouth with unnatural products, and you become ill.

It’s that simple. Read more

Just Think Positive!! (and other annoying sayings)

When feeling anxious or depressed, has anyone ever told you to “Just think positive!!” It’s fucking annoying, right?! Is it the wrong thing to say? Check out my latest video to see what my opinion is, as someone who no longer has anxiety….

A Day in the Life Part 2: How My Thoughts & Actions Have Changed Since I Crushed Anxiety

How My Thoughts Have Changed Since Anxiety

Continuing from part 1, this is an analysis of the second half of my day trip to London, comparing how I think and act as someone without anxiety, to how I was when I had an anxiety disorder.

Train Station

As  we approach the ticket barriers on mass, most passengers are either confused, tentative or follow each other like sheep to one of the barriers. They don’t want to go first. Or they don’t know which barrier to go through so blindly follow someone they think knows better (not realising they are just as clueless!).

Read more

A Day in the Life: How My Thoughts Have Changed Since I Crushed Anxiety

A Day in the Life

Today I had to venture into London for a meeting. Rewind 2 years ago to when I still had post traumatic anxiety and this meeting would have been a nightmare – that’s if I had even managed to get out of the house! Of course, it would never have happened anyway, as I had no job, no contacts, no motivation and no reason for a meeting of any sort, other than to get my meds from the doctor!

But I did wonder; how have my thought processes changed since then? This was my first time going back to London since I was assaulted years ago. How would the “new” anxiety-free Tim, think and act when confronted with the hustle and bustle of one of the world’s most crowded cities? I thought it would be interesting to compare my new thought processes with my old ones. The results were startling….

Read more

Do you REALLY Want to Get Rid of the Pain in Your Life?

I’ve spoken with many people who have suffered with anxiety and depression and have come to the conclusion that actually, many of them don’t want to overcome it. I know this is a controversial thing to say but I also know that this phenomenon of not wanting to rid yourself of the pain or negativity in your life, despite the fact it’s the cause of most of your problems, is a recognised one in psychology. Eckhart Tolle speaks of this in The Power of Now:

“….you may encounter intense inner resistance to dis-identifying from your pain. This will be the case particularly if you have lived closely identified with your emotional pain….for most of your life and the whole or a large part of your sense of self is invested in it. What this means is that you have made an unhappy self out of your pain…. and believe that this mind-made fiction is who you are. In that case, unconscious fear of losing your identity will create strong resistance to any dis-identification.

 

In other words, you would rather be in pain……..than take a leap into the unknown and risk losing the familiar unhappy self. If this applies to you, observe the resistance within yourself. Observe the attachment to your pain. Be very alert. Observe the peculiar pleasure you derive from being unhappy. Observe the compulsion to talk or think about it. The resistance will cease if you make it conscious.”

Read more

How I Stopped Myself Committing Suicide

Today, as I write, is World Suicide Prevention Day. There seems to be a special #day for everything these days but if there’s one subject that truly deserves to be highlighted for its own 24 hours, it is this one.

Samaritans Suicide Statistics Report 2017

  • 6,188 suicides were registered in the UK
  • The highest suicide rate in the UK was for men aged 40–44
  • Rates have increased in the UK (by 3.8%) since 2014
  • In the UK, female suicide rates are at their highest in a decade.
  • Male rates remain consistently higher than female suicide rates – around 3 times higher

Less than 5 years ago, I was very close to becoming just another number on those statistics. As it is Suicide Prevention Day, I feel it is my duty to speak out for the very first time in life, about how I managed to stay alive.

Read more